belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
