hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
