Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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