from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
