I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm like, not good at living.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
