I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
