Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
