Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
