I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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