Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
