so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
