Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
