The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
