He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
