I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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