Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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