Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
