PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
