and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I got inside last night via doggy door
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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