nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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