Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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