Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
