my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
