He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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