the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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