Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
