im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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