i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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