Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
