My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
