ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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