Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
