my text book just quoted the cookie monster
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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