We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
