u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
