it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
