i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Im part way to drunk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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