spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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