I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
