Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
