My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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