I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
