he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
