Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
