Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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