im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
