One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
COCAINE IS GR8
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
