Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
