Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
