Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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