Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
